Let's face it. Once you've settled comfortably into adulthood and you're learning what it means to work ten hour days, stay up all night with crying babes, clean the house AND make dinner, etc. -- it's significantly harder to find community that feels like home. Your mind is fixed on serving your family, and you aren't able to go grab coffee or indulge in a night with the girls like you could just years ago.
The value of a strong knit group of friends is priceless, especially in these challenging years of huge life transitions, learning curves and shocks of reality. But how do we find our people? Our tribe? The ones we know we can call anytime of the day for a favor, for prayer or just the reminder that you are not alone. Here's what we suggest.
1. Make time.
We know it feels like there is no more time in your day, like you are stretched thin and you need to use any excess time you do manage to scrape from the bottom of the pan on, well, naps. But here's the deal- making time for healthy things like community and friendship will only brighten up your life. Give yourself this gift, and watch as your once surface-level relationships grow into deep-down, real-deal friendships.
2. Be intentional
Time for some tough love, y'all. You can't keep waiting for people to come around to you, to knock on your door, to invite you out to eat. You're all grown up now, and it's time to act that way. Put your big girl pants on and be intentional with the people around you. Ask people questions, & actually listen to their answers. Call a friend up you know could use some extra support or love. Drop off a gift card to a couple you know is tired and busy and feeling worn out. Write letters of encouragement. Get off your phone. Sign off and look up. Practice taking just fifteen minutes out of your day to serve the people around you, and watch and see what God does in your heart and relationships.
3. Be consistent
Are you a part of a book club that you hardly ever go to? Do you go to your weekly community group "as often as you can", but really don't make it priority? Are you really good at making plans, then breaking them? We can all relate to these things, but the truth is that if we aren't consistent in our relationships, in the places and hearts we pour into, we won't reap much more than loneliness and an overall sense of displacement. Be consistent with your people and learn the value of time well spent. You won't regret it!