I haven’t put pen to paper in a long while.
Writing for me, is a way to process and heal and come to realizations about the things I’m learning in this whirlwind of a life; it happens just enough to be something I am deeply passionate about and little enough to be something that still brings me great comfort and relief. I compare writing to chewing on a well-seasoned, thick, juicy steak- I don’t eat them too often, but when I do I savor the rich and fulfilling flavor in Every. Single. Morsel.
Tonight, the morsels are my words and the flavor is contentment.
“I wish I made more money. I wish I weighed less. I wish I was healthier.” These are the thoughts that plague my mind some days. Usually in the moments I’m spending too much time focusing on my agenda and less time dwelling on the truth.
I went to bed tonight in tears, y’all. Which, hear me, is not necessarily uncommon. I cry at all degrees of my emotional scale--
Happy, Mal? SOBBING.
Angry, Mal? UGLY TEARS.
Excited, Mal? WATERWORKS.
I once balled my eyes out when my husband told me I was going to get to swim with a manatee. But that's not really the point.
Here’s what was was eating at me..
• A friend recently shared with me her salary, and it got me that nasty, spinach-green colored kind of jealous. "You make how much? Um, that’s over three years, right?"
• This morning I was running at the gym behind a beautiful, thin, tan brunette. I left wanting to eat a loaded Chipotle burrito with extra sour cream on top because “I’ll never be like her, so what’s the point?”
• A week ago I spent far too long browsing Instagram, and by the end of my time I had decided I needed a cute new SUV (Arctic blue Jeep, please? K. Thanks bye), a fifteen day vacation in Italy and a new spring wardrobe to bring with me.
WHAT THE WHAT?
My life is so precious and good. I want for no material thing. I have people in my life who support and love me. I have a warm, wonderful place to sleep at night. But most importantly I have a deep, everlasting relationship with THE King.
So, what is it for you?
How is discontentment stealing your joy? And better yet, what are some things you are just downright taking for granted? These questions aren't rhetorical, we want to hear from you.
Let’s encourage one another to practice gratitude and focus our gaze upward, shall we?
He really is all we need.